she woke up with a sticky ear
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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