grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
