can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
