i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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