i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize