I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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