god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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