I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
