Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
vagina is talking i cant
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
