i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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