Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There are leaves in my underwear?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
