It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
