Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize