if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
