i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
