I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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