Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize