Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
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