and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
no, he came in my armpit
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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