Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
