I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize