Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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