carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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