I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
