Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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