I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize