Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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