I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
