I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
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Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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