I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
