the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
