This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
