His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
this must be what syphilis tastes like
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You have to summon your inner elephant
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
