I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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