I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
