singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize