I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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