He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
