At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't deserve a penis
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
