Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
