She said her name was "party"
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
