You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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