We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My bed smells like the plague
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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