I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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