So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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