david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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