Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
