She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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