I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
