I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
