New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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