When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
