the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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