Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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