i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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