what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
