just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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