i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
