why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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