So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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