I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
