I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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