You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
