sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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