sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize