I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
