Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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