But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
