I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
