But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
