We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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